I used to work in an area in Singapore where there’s a lot of warehouses and old buildings. I would get off the bus stop, cross the road and walk for 10 minutes or so, on the way to the office. My walk would be mostly, quite relaxing. A few trees surrounded the area, giving me moderate shade to the heat and I always hear a lot of birds tweeting and sometimes, squawking nearby.
One time I was walking idyllically, taking my time, just enjoying the weather and the view. I wasn’t really looking intently where I was going, although I am quite aware that I was walking at the safe side and I was still in the pathway near the road. But I was deep in my thoughts. Then I suddenly felt a slight breeze ruffling the top of my head. Which seemed odd because it wasn’t windy then. There was not even a weather forecast for a rainy day so I started to notice my surroundings. I looked up and holy mother of god, there was this seemingly gigantic crow that was flying towards me. I froze and I thought to myself, this couldn’t be happening, birds are usually scared of people and why on earth would this motherfucker dive straight at me.
But all those musings didn’t delay the inevitable. The huge crow had her claws out and took a swoop at my hair and I could feel literally feel its talons scratching my head. I was in denial a moment ago but after that crow bitch slapped my scalp, I just ran for it. And frighteningly, there was another one (or was it the same crow, I wasn’t sure then, was too busy running away from this nightmare) which started to come after me, taking a dive at my hair again.
If anyone was in their car on that road then or was walking right behind me (there’s probably someone walking behind me then, well a big EFF you, if you just stood there and didn’t help!), they would probably see an almost comical scene where I was running and waving away birds that were, for some mysterious reason, swooping at my hair. I ran all the way to the office building and it was only when I got inside the lift that I felt safe and less stressed. I wanted to compose myself first before coming in the office so I went to the bathroom first. The first thing that I saw in the mirror was my hair.
It was gloriously and hilariously frizzy and spiky all over, especially the top one. I had a Dora cut back then, a short hairdo with an equally atrocious looking bangs so imagine what that looked like when it was all dry and sticking at the top end. I scrutinized my hair, squinting my eyes for a bit and oh my god, it struck me. My hair looks like a freaking nest.
It looked like I had this mound of dry hair that folded into a nest and that’s probably what attracted the damn birds to it. Either they thought they had a free meal inside or they were saving some god knows what bird or animal, from the giant tall-ass turd (that was me) that was running away and holding the apparent nest as a hostage. I’ll never forget that day, especially how my hair looked then.
Which is why, ever since then, every year, I’ve always had a hair rebond. I don’t even care how freaking expensive the hair rebond is, I just gotta have it. It’s like a requirement on my life now, like paying the bills and keeping my kid alive. And whenever I see birds, especially crows around, I nervously check out my hair, patting it and making sure it doesn’t look like a damn nest again.
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